|
|
| Intro: | [Instrumental. Stan exits his house and heads towards town. He scoops up some snow and tosses it in the air, then dances as it falls on him. As he passes by TELE'S, various episodes of Terrance and Phillip play on the televisions behind the window. Then he runs into a man carrying a box full of stuff, then moves on] |
|---|
| Stan: | [relaxed] There's a bunch of birds in the sky,
And some deers just went running by.
Oh, the snow's pure and white on the earth rich and brown!
Just
A-
nother Sunday morning in my
quiet
mountain
town. [brisk] The sun is shining and the grass is green
Under the three feet of snow, I mean.
This is the day when it's hard to wear a frown! All the happy people stop to say "hello," |
|---|
| Townsman: | Get out of my way! |
|---|
| Stan: | Even though the temperature's low.
It's a perfect Sunday morning in my
quiet
little
mountain
town. |
|---|
| [Stan crosses the street and reaches Tom's Rhinoplasty, where his mom, Sharon, works as the receptionist. Sharon sees him, and he soon shows her a movie ad] | | Sharon: | Well, good morning, Stan! |
|---|
| Stan: | Mom! Can I have eight dollars to see a movie? |
|---|
| Sharon: | A movie? |
|---|
| Stan: | Yeah. It's gonna be the best movie ever. It's a foreign film, from Canada. |
|---|
| Sharon: | All right, here you go. But be back for supper! |
|---|
| Stan: | Thanks, mom! |
|---|
| [He leaves and walks brightly down the street. She watches him until he reaches Kenny's house, then returns to work] | | Sharon: | Oh, what a picture-perfect child!
Just like Jesus, he's tender and mild.
He'd wear a smile while he wore a thorny crown. What an angel, with a heart so sweet and sure.
And a mind so open and pure.
Thank God we live in this
quiet
redneck
mountain
town! |
|---|
| [Kenny's house. Stan walk up and knocks] | | Stan: | Dude! Dude, wake up! [Kenny rises and gets dressed] Kenny, come on! |
|---|
| Kenny: | [tightens his hood] (Coming!) |
|---|
| Stan: | Kenny! The Terrance and Phillip movie is out. You wanna come? |
|---|
| Kenny: | (Yeah, dude. Come on, let's go.) [they walk away…] |
|---|
| Mrs. McCormick: | [appearing at the door] Where do you think YOU're going? |
|---|
| Kenny: | (To the Terrance and Phillip movie.) |
|---|
| Mrs. McCormick: | You can't! You have to go to church! |
|---|
| Kenny: | (But Mom, I wanna see this movie!) |
|---|
| Mrs. McCormick: | Well, fine. Go ahead and miss church. And then, when you die and go to hell, YOU CAN ANSWER TO SATAN! |
|---|
| Kenny: | (…Okay!) |
|---|
| [Stan and Kenny walk away and step over a homeless man on the street. They pass the church they should have gone into for Sunday services] | | Stan: | You can see your breath hanging in the air.
You see homeless people, but you just don't care.
It's a sea of smiles in which we'd be glad to drown! |
|---|
| Kenny: | (Don't you know? It's like a perfect winter day
And that I'm glad I can say) |
|---|
| Stan: | That's right! It's Sunday morning [with church choir] in our
quiet
little
white-bread
redneck
mountain
town! |
|---|
| [Kyle plays with Ike outside the house] | | Ike: | Bah bah bababah! |
|---|
| Kyle: | Ready, Ike? Kick the baby! |
|---|
| Ike: | Don't kick the baby. |
|---|
| Kyle: | Kick the baby. [kicks Ike through the window, and Ike squeals with delight] |
|---|
| Sheila: | Ike! You broke another window! That's a bad baby! Baaad baby! |
|---|
| [Stan and Kenny reach Kyle's house] | | Stan: | Kyle! We're going to the Terrance and Phillip movie! |
|---|
| Kyle: | Oh my God, dude! [begins to walk away with Stan and Kenny] |
|---|
| Sheila: | Kyle, where are you going?! |
|---|
| Kyle: | Uuh. We're going ice-skating. |
|---|
| Sheila: | Well, take your little brother out with you. |
|---|
| Kyle: | Aw, ma. He's not even my real brother. He's adopted. |
|---|
| Sheila: | Do as I say, Kyle!! |
|---|
| Kyle: | Okay, okay, I'm sorry. |
|---|
| [The boys leave, and Sheila goes back in and begins to sing. Near the end of her part she dances across the living room and ends with a high kick as Gerald reads the morning paper.] | | Sheila: | Look at those frail and fragile boys,
It really gets me down.
The world is such a rotten place,
And city life's a complete disgrace!
That's why I moved to this
redneck
meshuggeneh
qui-
et
moun-
tain
town!
[Ike flies through the other window] Ike! Bad baby! [he hops out and away] |
|---|
| Ike: | Tay for a bah. |
|---|
| [Cartman watches TV and munches on Cheesy Poofs] | | Announcer: | This program is brought to you by Snacky S'mores, the creamy fun of s'mores in a delightful cookie crunch. [the doorbell rings] |
|---|
| Cartman: | Mom, somebody's at the door! |
|---|
| Liane: | Coming, hon. [passes by in front of him] |
|---|
| Cartman: | Ey! I can't see the TV! |
|---|
| Reporter: | It's been six weeks since Saddam Hussein was killed by a pack of wild boars, and the world is still glad to be rid of him. |
|---|
| Liane: | Oh, look, Eric. It's your little friends. [the boys enter] |
|---|
| Ike: | Torry mayam! |
|---|
| Cartman: | What are you guys doing here?! [they show him the movie ad] Oh. Sweet, dude! Yes! Yes!! |
|---|
| [All five boys now head for the theater] | | The boys: | [regal, quickening] Off to the movies we shall go,
where we learn everything that we know,
'Cause the movies teach us what our parents don't have time to say! And this movie's gonna make our lives complete,
[slowing] 'Cause Terrance and Phillip are sweet. |
|---|
| Cartman: | Super sweet! |
|---|
| The boys: | Thank God we live in a
quiet
little
redneck
podunk
white-trash |
|---|
| Kenny: | (Kick-ass!) |
|---|
| The boys: | U… S… A!!! |
|---|
|
|
|
|
| Intro: | [Instrumental. Stan exits his house and heads towards town. He scoops up some snow and tosses it in the air, then dances as it falls on him. As he passes by TELE'S, various episodes of Terrance and Phillip play on the televisions behind the window. Then he runs into a man carrying a box full of stuff, then moves on] |
|---|
| Stan: | [relaxed] There's a bunch of birds in the sky,
And some deers just went running by.
Oh, the snow's pure and white on the earth rich and brown!
Just
A-
nother Sunday morning in my
quiet
mountain
town. [brisk] The sun is shining and the grass is green
Under the three feet of snow, I mean.
This is the day when it's hard to wear a frown! All the happy people stop to say "hello," |
|---|
| Townsman: | Get out of my way! |
|---|
| Stan: | Even though the temperature's low.
It's a perfect Sunday morning in my
quiet
little
mountain
town. |
|---|
| [Stan crosses the street and reaches Tom's Rhinoplasty, where his mom, Sharon, works as the receptionist. Sharon sees him, and he soon shows her a movie ad] | | Sharon: | Well, good morning, Stan! |
|---|
| Stan: | Mom! Can I have eight dollars to see a movie? |
|---|
| Sharon: | A movie? |
|---|
| Stan: | Yeah. It's gonna be the best movie ever. It's a foreign film, from Canada. |
|---|
| Sharon: | All right, here you go. But be back for supper! |
|---|
| Stan: | Thanks, mom! |
|---|
| [He leaves and walks brightly down the street. She watches him until he reaches Kenny's house, then returns to work] | | Sharon: | Oh, what a picture-perfect child!
Just like Jesus, he's tender and mild.
He'd wear a smile while he wore a thorny crown. What an angel, with a heart so sweet and sure.
And a mind so open and pure.
Thank God we live in this
quiet
redneck
mountain
town! |
|---|
| [Kenny's house. Stan walk up and knocks] | | Stan: | Dude! Dude, wake up! [Kenny rises and gets dressed] Kenny, come on! |
|---|
| Kenny: | [tightens his hood] (Coming!) |
|---|
| Stan: | Kenny! The Terrance and Phillip movie is out. You wanna come? |
|---|
| Kenny: | (Yeah, dude. Come on, let's go.) [they walk away…] |
|---|
| Mrs. McCormick: | [appearing at the door] Where do you think YOU're going? |
|---|
| Kenny: | (To the Terrance and Phillip movie.) |
|---|
| Mrs. McCormick: | You can't! You have to go to church! |
|---|
| Kenny: | (But Mom, I wanna see this movie!) |
|---|
| Mrs. McCormick: | Well, fine. Go ahead and miss church. And then, when you die and go to hell, YOU CAN ANSWER TO SATAN! |
|---|
| Kenny: | (…Okay!) |
|---|
| [Stan and Kenny walk away and step over a homeless man on the street. They pass the church they should have gone into for Sunday services] | | Stan: | You can see your breath hanging in the air.
You see homeless people, but you just don't care.
It's a sea of smiles in which we'd be glad to drown! |
|---|
| Kenny: | (Don't you know? It's like a perfect winter day
And that I'm glad I can say) |
|---|
| Stan: | That's right! It's Sunday morning [with church choir] in our
quiet
little
white-bread
redneck
mountain
town! |
|---|
| [Kyle plays with Ike outside the house] | | Ike: | Bah bah bababah! |
|---|
| Kyle: | Ready, Ike? Kick the baby! |
|---|
| Ike: | Don't kick the baby. |
|---|
| Kyle: | Kick the baby. [kicks Ike through the window, and Ike squeals with delight] |
|---|
| Sheila: | Ike! You broke another window! That's a bad baby! Baaad baby! |
|---|
| [Stan and Kenny reach Kyle's house] | | Stan: | Kyle! We're going to the Terrance and Phillip movie! |
|---|
| Kyle: | Oh my God, dude! [begins to walk away with Stan and Kenny] |
|---|
| Sheila: | Kyle, where are you going?! |
|---|
| Kyle: | Uuh. We're going ice-skating. |
|---|
| Sheila: | Well, take your little brother out with you. |
|---|
| Kyle: | Aw, ma. He's not even my real brother. He's adopted. |
|---|
| Sheila: | Do as I say, Kyle!! |
|---|
| Kyle: | Okay, okay, I'm sorry. |
|---|
| [The boys leave, and Sheila goes back in and begins to sing. Near the end of her part she dances across the living room and ends with a high kick as Gerald reads the morning paper.] | | Sheila: | Look at those frail and fragile boys,
It really gets me down.
The world is such a rotten place,
And city life's a complete disgrace!
That's why I moved to this
redneck
meshuggeneh
qui-
et
moun-
tain
town!
[Ike flies through the other window] Ike! Bad baby! [he hops out and away] |
|---|
| Ike: | Tay for a bah. |
|---|
| [Cartman watches TV and munches on Cheesy Poofs] | | Announcer: | This program is brought to you by Snacky S'mores, the creamy fun of s'mores in a delightful cookie crunch. [the doorbell rings] |
|---|
| Cartman: | Mom, somebody's at the door! |
|---|
| Liane: | Coming, hon. [passes by in front of him] |
|---|
| Cartman: | Ey! I can't see the TV! |
|---|
| Reporter: | It's been six weeks since Saddam Hussein was killed by a pack of wild boars, and the world is still glad to be rid of him. |
|---|
| Liane: | Oh, look, Eric. It's your little friends. [the boys enter] |
|---|
| Ike: | Torry mayam! |
|---|
| Cartman: | What are you guys doing here?! [they show him the movie ad] Oh. Sweet, dude! Yes! Yes!! |
|---|
| [All five boys now head for the theater] | | The boys: | [regal, quickening] Off to the movies we shall go,
where we learn everything that we know,
'Cause the movies teach us what our parents don't have time to say! And this movie's gonna make our lives complete,
[slowing] 'Cause Terrance and Phillip are sweet. |
|---|
| Cartman: | Super sweet! |
|---|
| The boys: | Thank God we live in a
quiet
little
redneck
podunk
white-trash |
|---|
| Kenny: | (Kick-ass!) |
|---|
| The boys: | U… S… A!!! |
|---|
|
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